The hardest word is “No”
According to Elton John, “Sorry” is the hardest word, but for my generation that definitely isn’t true. We throw “Sorry” around like it’s the magic word that makes everything better, regardless of whether or not we mean it.
What actually seems to be almost impossible for my generation to say is “No, thank you. I’m not interested”. We don’t want to hear it, and we certainly don’t want to say it. Not because we say “yes” to everything, but because we somehow seem to be under the delusion that it’s better for the person being rejected to make their own conclusions than to be straightforwardly rejected.
It doesn’t matter if it’s dating or buying a second-hand bike off the internet, saying “Thanks, but this wasn’t what I’m looking for” seems to be impossible for the majority of my generation. Instead we ghost people, or if we feel that’s too rude, become evasive and hope they get the message.
We all know the age-old dating clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me” or “my life is just too busy at the moment” but it seems like we need a whole new dictionary for modern day rejections. Here’s a few examples:
“It’s otherwise great, but I’m just worried about this one thing”
= “I don’t know why I ever started talking to you in the first place.”“Thanks, I’ll get back to you on that.” = “You will never hear from me again.”
“That’s an interesting idea.” = “Please stop bugging me.”
“Okay, thanks.” = “Your input is not needed.”
“Thank you.” = “Please go away.”
“Sorry.” = “Never going to happen.”
Person X has seen your message Y hours ago. = “I’m a spineless weasel and instead of having an awkward conversation, I am hoping that if I ignore you for long enough, you will get the hint and go away.”
Now, I have an outlandish suggestion for all of you who recognize yourselves from this kind of behaviour. You might find the idea quite impossible at first, but give it some time. You might never be able to stop once you try it.
Next time you’re faced with having to reject someone/an idea/an object/a suggestion, try actually saying the following sentence:
“Thank you, but I’m just not interested.”
You might find that often it actually saves you from having to dodge a follow up, and quite surprisingly, the person on the other side might actually hate you less than if you ghost them.
Or, you know, just keep doing what you’re doing. What do I care?
